AITA: I Got a Piercing Without My BFF

Dani (warm, conversational):

Hey everyone, welcome back to The Piercing Room, where we talk about body mods, bad decisions, and the awkward moments in between. I’m Dani...

Bree (playful):

And I’m Bree. Here for the tea, as always.

Dani:

Alright, so today’s story comes from someone who wrote in with a bit of friendship drama. Here's the situation:

“Am I the A-hole for getting pierced on a trip without inviting my best friend even though we had talked about doing it together?”

Let me give you the context. This person, we’ll call her “Ashley,” says she and her best friend had talked for months about getting nose piercings together. They’d hyped it up, shared jewelry ideas, talked about doing it on a special day… all that.

Then, Ashley goes on a weekend trip with her cousin. Totally unplanned, they walk by a piercing studio, her cousin gets excited, and they decide, why not? She gets the piercing. She posts a selfie. And... radio silence from the best friend.

Later, the friend sends a message like, “Wow. Cool. I guess some promises just don’t matter.” Ashley says she apologized, said it was spontaneous and she still wanted to go with her friend for her piercing but now things are just awkward. So...

Bree:

Yikes.

Dani:

Right? So the question is: was it wrong to do the piercing without her, or is the friend being a little overly sensitive?

Bree (firm, a little heated):

Okay. I’m just gonna say it. I’d be mad. Like... if we had a plan to do something together, something that’s meaningful, and then you do it with someone else? That feels personal.

Dani (thoughtful):

Even if it was spontaneous?

Bree:

Yes. Because it’s not just about the piercing. It’s about the shared moment. And I think a lot of people, especially with things like piercings or tattoos, want the memory to feel intentional. Not like you were just a backup.

Dani:

I get that. But I also don’t think this was malicious. It sounded like one of those spur-of-the-moment things. Like when you get caught up in the energy of a trip and the vibe is right, the studio is right there, someone’s hyping you up. It happens.

Bree:

Sure, but if I were the friend, I’d still feel left out. Maybe not “end the friendship” level mad but definitely disappointed. And a little hurt.

Dani:

I don’t disagree. I think it would’ve been smart for her to send a quick “Hey, I think I’m doing this, but I still want to go with you to get another piercing when you’re ready” kind of message. That small heads-up might’ve softened the blow.

Bree (softer):

Exactly. Just acknowledge the friendship meant something. You can still be spontaneous and considerate.

Dani:

So is she the A-hole?

Bree:

Not the full-on A-hole... but maybe a little thoughtless in the moment. I'd call it a friendship foul.

Dani:

Yeah, I’m with you. Not the A-hole, but she should probably own that it hurt her friend and follow through on making that piercing date special even if it’s just symbolic now.